As a teenager i hung around with the wrong crowd, i had always tagged myself with older guys which provided some comfort in knowing i had protection in this so called gang.

Only back then i can recall often name calling as i was the younger one, the words like stump, bone boy and skeleton skin had changed my life forever. On many occassions i was forced to arm wrestle the older boys in front of their girlfriends, it may have been to embarass me or to make them look good, or even both. Anyway it hurt a lot and it’s these times that are responsible for the leading focus fusion i have become today.

The last straw came when i was set upon by rival older youths, my so called friends did not interupt the incident and i remember looking through finger slits covering my face and seeing the smiling faces of those i had once trusted, again the words bone boy and the giggles that followed it.

I left the group and stayed at home, isolated, upset and driven. That’s right, i had a rage within me that i could not control, i was fourteen years old and i began an obsession with physical strength improvement training.

Looking back i don’t know whether to thank them for my complex or to punish them for my own self traumas, i have made advancements that only those other boys could ever dream of.

It’s strange that even now i look in the mirror and i don’t seem that big at all, to my friends and family, i’m huge and perhaps bewildering, but i wonder often if this was all a result of those childhood memories.

I strive to help others in what i do and for any person who lets words in, please don’t let them stay in.